bushahr times tiffinbox starts blogging!

“The general who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple ere the battle is fought,” said Sun Tzu in Art of War.

In my earlier post, I had written about how the intrepid traveler prepares for each trip like a general for a war. I am willing to lay my neck on the line and even go so far as to say that Sun Tzu might have got some of his ideas from the forerunners of the present day intrepid traveler.

Our present day avatar plans precisely in even going to the neighbourhood supermarket for grocery shopping.

“You have to decide whether to take an auto or drive there, where to park, when to go to get the best deals, who to go with so that the person shows an equal enthusiasm…blah… blah,” she told me once before proceeding to throw a fat book at me as I yawned at this enthralling confession of domestic problems.

I digress. Suffice to say that the violence displayed on this occasion is ample proof of the war-like mentality with which the intrepid traveler approaches her whole life.

A week’s holiday requires months of planning, a fortnight’s vacation, years of painful research. Just like countries shore up their resources and fill up their treasuries before launching into a war, the intrepid traveler starts saving up eons before a trip.

“Say, how about a drink tonight?.”
“Not tonight.”
‘Why? Is everything all right? It’s hard to drag you away from a bar before five in the morning. Are you ok?
“Well, I am planning to go to Ougadougou  (pronounce vah-ga-doo-goo) in 2022. I have started saving.”

Every bit of spare time is spent in preparing for the trip. She pores over maps and visits websites of the destination or should I say targets. The terrain is studied well, a list of places to visit is drawn up (only to be redrawn several times over the course of years), and local customs are noted.

“Hello, intrepid traveler.”
“Hello, Sol,” she says before pinching your nose.
“Ow! Why did you do that?”
“That’s how ougadougans used to greet each other in the 12th century”

When she should be discussing business with clients, she asks them about their previous holiday. She drools over pictures in Flickr and reads 18th century travelogues by people with names such as Dr Livingstone.

She doesn’t return your calls as she has exceeded her call limits by phoning hotels to ask about reservations. She starts shopping for clothes and equipment without giving a thought to the certainty that she will put on 10 kg before she starts the trip.

She starts clicking her tongue and makes other smacking sounds because that is how one says hello and thank you in languages such as Kimore, Kigali and Kosuda.

She starts taking a deeper interest in foreign exchange rates and tends to make such statements as “Yes, an apple in Ouagadougou costs 15 smackeroos” or words to that effect.

Every intricate detail is painstakingly researched and catalogued so that she becomes an expert on the destination. Makes one wonder why bother with the trip after all, when the surprise element is no longer there.